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THE ART OF SHUTTING THE FUCK UP

THE ART OF SHUTTING THE FUCK UP

“You can’t say that,” she told me slowly, seriously.

 

“Why not?” I asked with more than a bit of a laugh catching in my throat.

 

“Because that’s mean and you’re not a mean person,” she responded.

 

She’s right, of course.  I absolutely can’t say what it is I really want to say because, even though what I’ve got to unload in terms of comments strikes me as tremendously accurate and actually governed by a little bit of restraint, I’m also aware that those comments will undoubtedly come off as far more mean than I intend. Because here’s what I really want to say to one of my Facebook buddies:

 

1.    Sweetheart?  Your Facebook posts, while always slightly bizarre and glaringly transparent in your quest for neediness, have now veered into crazy person territory.

2.    The more times you write an epic poem on social media about how you have lost yet another friend due to a disagreement the two of you had over social media, the more times I think that maybe you should be committed in a place that doesn’t have Wi-Fi.