There was a time – I think maybe it was a Thursday – when I truly believed that an original storyline and complex and compelling characters were essential when it came to getting a television show on the air and allowing it to be renewed for about eight seasons.

I also used to believe that a monster lived in the back of my closet.  

I got over the monster fear eventually, but I’m not certain that my subconscious has because sometimes in the very dead of the night I find myself picturing the most horrifying hybrid creature ever seen outside of a James Cameron movie.  It’s vivid, this image.  It has the hardened eyes of Tamra and the pursed and ever-angry mouth of Shannon and it sounds exactly like Vicki and it wears Meghan’s headband.  It is nothing short of terrifying and I shake and tremble when I think about that blonde creature, so I sometimes try to calm myself by remembering the days when things on television brought me comfort, like the Smoke Monster from Lost and Scott Baio singing saccharine pop songs off-key on Joanie Loves Chachi.